Mr. Pug & Mr. Other Pug Sell Out
Mr. Pug was soaked.
“Why are you soaked?” asked Mr. Other Pug.
“Dude, its 101 degrees outside and as sticky as can be,” said Mr. Pug. “I’m sweating up a storm here.”
“Oh, I see,” said Mr. Other Pug looking disdainfully at Mr. Pug’s shiny, smelly fur. “Well, just don’t drip on my kitchen floor. I just mopped it.”
“Geez,” muttered Mr. Pug to himself, trying to stand motionless so he wouldn’t drip on the already wet floor, but having a hard time keeping his tail from wagging just a little.
“What can we do to get a break from the heat?” asked Mr. Pug.
“I know! We can go swimming,” exclaimed Mr. Other Pug.
“We don’t own a pool,” said Mr. Pug. “Besides you know what chlorine does to your skin folds.”
“What about tubing?” offered Mr. Other Pug.
“I’m afraid I’m not familiar with that term,” said Mr. Pug.
“You know – ‘tubing’,” iterated Mr. Other Pug. “Inflating an inner tube with air, climbing on top and then lazily floating downriver. It’s a great way to get some air and some sun, but since you’re on a river you’re always wet and cool and comfortable.”
“Sounds like a plan,” said Mr. Pug. “I’ll unplug our Toyota® Prius.”
“Toyota® Prius?” questioned Mr. Other Pug.
“Product-placement,” said Mr. Pug. “We’re supposed to integrate it into our stories like it’s a normal thing we endorse.”
“Oh,” said Mr. Other Pug. “You mean, like Milk-Bone® Dog Biscuits?”
“Yeah, something like that, but faster and with more horsepower,” winked Mr. Pug.
Once inside the hybrid vehicle that — they proudly told anyone who would listen — consistently got 51 mpg on the highway and 48 in the city, they shot out west across New Jersey towards the beautiful Delaware River.
“Thanks to its electric water pump, the Toyota® Prius engine is the first consumer automotive production engine that requires no accessory belts, which also further improves its fuel economy,” Mr. Pug shouted to cars that passed by.
“Ka-ching,” said Mr. Other Pug.
“Ka-ching,” echoed Mr. Pug.
Mr. Other Pug fiddled with the state-of-the-art Toyota® Prius GPS and Navigation system while Mr. Pug drove.
“The steering column is adjustable and so comfortable, ” said Mr. Pug.
“It looks easy to handle,” said Mr. Other Pug. ‘Even without opposable thumbs.”
Mr. Pug giggled and so did Mr. Other Pug. They laughed so much they almost missed thier exit.
“Turn after this bridge,” shouted Mr. Other Pug, looking down at the River.
When they arrived at the parking lot they each got their own inner tube and life jacket and made their way into the river.
“That’s cold,” whined Mr. Pug as he touched the water with his feet.. “I’m not going.”
“You’ll get used to it,” said Mr. Other Pug. ‘Plus there’s hot dogs!.”
Mr. Pug raced into the river thinking about hot dogs. Mr. Other Pug joined, not far behind. The water was quick but not too fast and made for a lazy, satisfying and refreshing afternoon. Some parts were shady, and some parts were sunny, and some parts were so slow they could get out of their inner tubes and swim around a bit. Then they reached a houseboat mid-way down the river that gave out hot dogs and potato chips.
“Is this an Oscar Meyer® brand hot dog?” asked Mr. Other Pug when the bored teenager handed him his lunch.
After they ate they passed thru some speedy rapids that were a little scary but a lot of fun, they clamored back to the river side and waited for a dirty old schoolbuds to take them back top the parking lot.
Back in the Toyota® Prius, Mr. Pug turned on the AC.
“The Toyota® Prius uses an all-electric A/C compressor for cooling, an industry first,” said Mr. Pug, proudly. The vents filled the interior with that comforting, but nauseating, wet dog smell. The cold air felt good on their wet coats, but they both ended up with the sniffles by the time they arrived home.
Later that night they were in bed, sunburned and a little chilly still with the beginnings of a summer cold.
“Achoo,” sneezed Mr. Other Pug. “Achoo, Achoo, Achoo.”
Mr. Other Pug turned on the light.
“Please,” said Mr. Other Pug handing Mr. Pug a box. “Enjoy a soft, strong and absorbent Kleenex® Brand tissue.”